DFW to OMA, Row 32...or How I Met David Sedaris

After arriving at the airport in Austin at 5am for our first trip back to Omaha in 2.5 years and experiencing a hellish 4 hour delay, we transferred in DFW to OMA. We were comfortably seated in Row 32...writhing toddler and complaining pre-schooler in tow. And, here I was thinking the biggest benefit of this seat assignment was easy bathroom access for the one who likes "the tiny plane bathroom."

Escaping to my Happy Place while holding Liz, I began eavesdropping on the flight attendants as they discussed whether or not David Sedaris made it on the Stand By list. As the male attendant served up my drink, I told him what I'd overheard and asked if he could confirm that, as Sedaris is my favorite writer OF ALL TIME. "Bingo," he advised later.

Trying not to go into full stalker mode, I handed the now sleeping Liz off to Steve when the aisle was clear and in my best "avoiding deep vein thrombosis" move, walked to the front of the plane and looked everyone over on the way back. There he was around Aisle 16, fake sleeping, of course...read "When You are Engulfed in Flames."

As many of you know, I've had plenty of celeb contact and rolled with it. They are just people and most of them want to be treated that way. It was always the over excited 50 year old woman who was ready to bust her leg to get The Rock's autograph on a 2x4 that drove me nuts...so I had to play this cool.

I started flipping through Jill's Dora the Explorer coloring book [with over 700 stickers!!!] and found a picture of Dora and Boots checking out an airplane. Jackpot. I wrote on it, "When I heard you were on this flight, I wept like a bereft Pole." This is a reference to a story in "Engulfed." Didn't think I'd see him later, so I just put it away. Note, I did not include, "Can I be your stalker? Check [ ] YES! [ ] NO!"

Cut to the baggage claim. There's my father-in-law standing next to Sedaris and the local handler. He is wearing a highly flammable looking, plaid polyester blazer that looked like a home ec project. I whip out the picture and wait for him to stop telling her about how David Letterman practice interviews you then changes the questions during the show...here's my opening...

Me: Hi, I'm Marti Grandinetti. It's a pleasure to meet you. I really admire your work!

DS: [seeming genuinely flattered] Oh, Thank you. Is this your baby? She's cute. [note: she has a black eye]

Me: Yes, thank you. In fact, Engulfed was the first book I was able to finish since she was born. Do you give autographs?

DS: I do and I have a pen. [I hand him the Dora picture; he examines it, reads the comment on the bereft Pole and chuckles. He then draws tears on Dora's face and draws a bubble, writes "Me, too." and signs it.]

Me: So, are you doing a reading in Omaha?

DS: No, Lincoln. But last night I was in San Marcos [not pronounced the local way "Marcus"] at this strange book store...[thinking...] um..Hastings. Yeah. They had me set up in the Christian section. [We both laugh at this point.]

Me: Yeah...I heard that you were rebooked at The River [Austin mega-church] that last time you were in Austin. Your agent needs to work on that!

He agrees, I wish him good luck and safe travel and float off to the ladies room with the Grandinetti Girls in tow.

So, that's how I met David Sedaris. Super nice guy, no difference between normal and broadcast voice...and, about as tall as I am. : )